January 2018

I guess, the only reason we can't move on because we still have that unsettling feelings in us that have yet to get answer. We need answers and also learn to accept changes, learn to have the strength to accept situation. I know its easier said than done. One, can never easily move on, but there is no really other choice though, everyday you wake up you get 24 hours, and everyone else as well. Its how you gonna use that 24 hours, how you gonna invest that, maybe go out, meet new people, go new places. Truth is, it's still gonna hurt you, somehow you gonna still so to bed and cry. You still cant fight it, can not fight the pin or shall I said the fate.

Yeah you see, this life we are living wasnt meant to be perfect, its either a blessing or a lesson. No matter how you try, how hard you love or smile, not all stories have a happy endings.

With this relationship, I understand how life can change, people can change and feelings as well. In a glimpse of time. One thing I am feeling assure about is we cant fight to the point where you knwo there is nothing left to fight for- to the point you realize "no, I am not gonna be at your level - to beg for the love that I know its no longer for me." See, how all this works may sound crazy. But for sure, you cant fight for someone who doesnt have the mutual feelings towards you.

Tat is why when they say, life is  feelings process. With that, I wake up everyday. I wast definitely lost, because I used to have that one person I keep running back to, one person that I ever wish to get marry to, one person that I look up to. Its gone. I take every strength I have left, to take this single step each day - to breath, you look outside the window, to eat to smoke to live normally. I'm still beating every second. God has taken something away from you, because he knows you deserve someone better.

I take that quote seriously, I take that quote as I breath every second. Maybe this is not my time, maybe it is his time to shine. But trust me, bad times will eventually end and so my relationship.

14th January 2017
Faatheapril....